Having no engineering background proved to be a challenge the first time I was assigned the task of shipping a product to an international customer. Engineering terms were, to me, the equivalent of giving an orientation in Latin and my task of ascertaining the nature of an item in order to locate the required US Census Bureau shipping codes quickly became a “who’s on first” comedy routine.
An engineer approaches with the announcement: “I need to ship this network interface unit to Pakistan.”
Me (ever helpful): “Alrighty! Hm…this is a new product, what is it?”
The engineer: “It’s a network interface unit.”
Me: (a confused and slightly concerned expression on my face): “Huh?”
The engineer: “I said, it’s a network interface unit….”
Me: “It’s a what?”
The engineer (now also looking confused and slightly concerned and, assuming I’ve suddenly lost my hearing, speaking slowly and with increased volume): “It is a n-e-t-w-o-r-k i-n-t-e-r-f-a-c-e u-n-i-t….”
Me (feeling the birth of a headache and the beginnings of panic): “Ooookay…and what does it do?”
The engineer: “It encapsulates.”
Me: “It does what?”
The engineer: “E-n-c-a-p-s-u-l-a-t-e-s.”
Me: “Um…does it transmit? Receive? What specifically does it do?”
The engineer, feeling some small progress is now being made, brightens and launches into a weighty and detailed explanation of the attributes of the ‘thing’ that is to be shipped, using words even more complex than the name of the product itself. I sit in silence, attempting to glean English out of this dissertation and wishing this job came with a translator. I attempt a different approach…
Me: “What does ‘encapsulate’ mean?”
The engineer: “Um…”
Me: “How would you explain it to your kids?”
The engineer: “I wouldn’t, they wouldn’t understand it if I tried.”
Me (gripping the desk and speaking slowly): “When does it need to go out?”
The engineer (perking up with a big smile): “Today!”
Me: “OK! Great! Thank you! Go away now!”
Several phone calls and emails to the project manager, the director of engineering and the export department at Carlsbad later resulted in a product definition the US Census Bureau website could understand and the shipping code was obtained. Thanks to the guidance of the corporate office, I have grown wiser in the ways of shipping procedures and, even if I still don’t quite understand what that “thing” actually DOES, I can send it safely overseas to our customer.
But I still don’t understand “encapsulate”.
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