The term, “pet peeve”, normally refers to “a particular and often continual annoyance” – a trigger that will cause teeth to grind and blood pressure to rise. Tension between co-workers, friends and family members can erupt and I don’t doubt wars have started because somebody just HAD to snap their chewing gum one more time.
But we’re all grownups here (most of us, anyway) and tolerance and civility is a sign of maturity (though a few of us tend to ignore signs, including “speed limit 35MPH” and “12 items or less”) and it’s not worth getting all bent out of shape over little, day-to-day, petty annoyances.
Unless you call me “honey”.
Ah, endearments. Sweet, tender nicknames of affection, to be bandied about by lovers, family members and very good friends as a sign of closeness and familiarity, to be given in the privacy of one’s home. At least, that was the intention: not to sound like a crabby old lady (“in MY day, we called everybody SIR or MA’AM and by gum, we were GRATEFUL to do it!”) but nothing and I mean NOTHING gets me more riled than to be referred to by a complete stranger as “honey”, “hon”, “sweetie”, “dear” or “cutie” (OK, I’ve never been called “cutie” but I STILL wouldn’t like it!).
Particularly frustrating is when it is 1) a cashier or waitress and 2) it’s out in public, where I’m not supposed to lose my temper and I’m to appear enraptured by a person I’ve never met before addressing me as if I were a favorite niece instead of a paying customer: especially when it’s evident that I am more than a few years older than this waaaay too familiar person. While I sit in embarrassed silence with a faux grin on my face, friends who know me too well watching me and poking each other, I am absolutely seething on the inside and wondering if hurling a dinner roll at a person’s head is considered a felony or misdemeanor? What about a coffee cup? Is the severity of the charge based on the weight of the object thrown? What if I aim at her well cushioned behind, as opposed to her head? She’s on her feet most of the day, would it be a criminal act if I tagged her in the butt?
Only once did I decide to defend my dignity: after being called “dear” seven (SEVEN) times in the course of paying for a few items at a drug store, I just lost it. Learning forward slightly, money in hand, looking the younger woman straight in the eye, I said in a somewhat menacing tone:
“My NAME is not DEAR.”
The cashier and everyone in line behind me froze. If I pulled out a gun and shot it into the air, I couldn’t have received a more attentive audience. For a full five seconds nobody moved and I waited, slightly scared and mighty curious as to what would happen next.
Finally, the cashier dropped her gaze, took my cash and handed me my change without a word. No one spoke or moved as I gathered my purse and purchases and walked out of the store. A victory, you say? Heck, no, I felt guilty as sin as soon as I got into my car. The awful, dreadful moment of silence, the motionless customers behind me, even the silence of the cashier made me believe I was a “mood murderer”, one of those folks who can kill all the joy in a room just by walking in.
Have I defended myself since? No, I haven’t the heart. Maybe this is a person’s way of bringing joy into the world and “honey” isn’t quite as condescending as I think it is. So I’m back to gritting my teeth and letting it wash over me like a grating wave of irritating, stinging jellyfish. Easy going and “go with the flow”, that’s me.
But seriously - if I throw something soft, say a honey bun, is it a felony or misdemeanor?
i'd rather have a sweet cashier than one who pretends I don't exist. Those really are the worst, lol. I just be pleasant when checking out no matter what cos I did retail in diff. capacities in my day. Don't miss it. It's worse now, they have to act a certain way. And, they are no doubt all covered by security cam. So, yeah, go with the flow, lol.. Cordelia ;)
ReplyDeletethere probably IS a law about food tossing... something about tomatoes having to been bruised and inedible, rotten potatoes are right out, they smell horrid and are considered a bio hazard... you will get by with any member of the cabbage family, but when tossing cabbage, remember to make it the LEAVES, separated out from the head and not the actual head of cabbage, that could be battery, stunning anyway. Pelting people with buns is generally considered ineffective and ignored by the food tossing authorities....