Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Danger! Must Wear Protective Gear!

While I’ve inherited my share of talents – drawing, painting, poetry, prose, writing, imagination – the one gift I was denied was being graceful. Remember the hippos in “Fantasia”? The ones with the tutus? Yup, that’s me.

I have stumbled, bumbled and tripped my way through life and only better angels have kept me from disaster. Too many times, I have been THIS CLOSE to death and dismemberment due to my clumsiness, only to be brought back from the brink.

This year, I believe my angels have decided to embark on a well-deserved extended vacation and left me to my own devices.

Since January of this year I’ve fallen three times. Twice, thankfully, I was in my own basement without an audience and, other than a few bruises and a nasty headache, was no worse for wear. But my motto being “try, try again” apparently I wasn’t satisfied with the half-hearted attempts for a concussion at home. No, I was ready for the big time, a public performance!

I was to attend a parade and festival downtown and was pretty excited about it. A whole afternoon wandering and taking photos, a new venture and spending quality time with friends would be wonderful. The day was clear and warm with a cool lake breeze and everyone was in an uplifted mood as we parked the car and started out of the lot to hunt for a good spot to parade watch.

As we came to the parking lot gate, my toe stubbed into a sheared bolt that was sticking up out of the concrete. In Matrix-like fashion, I slowly succumbed to gravity and toppled, watching the landscape go from horizontal to vertical. My body compressed and bounced off the cement and time snapped back to normal, with my friends asking if I was “OK”.

Embarrassed, of COURSE I said “yes”. My arm was throbbing and my knee was covered in blood but I wasn’t going to ruin the day for everybody!

It wasn’t until a week later I went to the ER and was told I had fractures. Stuck in a wrist brace and splinted, my leg a field of scabs, I went to an orthopedic doctor for further x-rays and evaluation. I was instructed by the x-ray tech to “sit there, be careful, the stool has wheels”, maneuvered, moved and tortured until the doctor had every angle possible of my arm. “Stand up, please, and I’ll take you back to your room” the x-ray tech intoned.

WHAM! As I rose, my head connected with the twelve ton x-ray camera above me and, for a moment, the room was filled with stars. 

Oh, angels, please, PLEASE cut your vacation short? I’m not sure I’ll survive the summer.

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